Friday, March 13

PSF: Relax Mommy, I'm ready.....

You're ready. Really? Am I ready?

PhotoStory Friday
Hosted by Cecily and MamaGeek

Once again, Sophie has proven to me that all of her developmental milestones happen naturally. Sure, I need to provide certain tools and encouragement but eventually she always chooses to move forward and try out her sea legs when it's time to grow.
Of course, for months before she makes the decision I am always sweating, worrying, sometimes even defending why I haven't done something about it sooner-to the people I think follow the real status quo, or what's "normal."

Here are my big examples:

1. At about 2 1/2 Sophie still drank one last bottle before bed. Did I push? Nope. One night she just said, I don't want to drink a bottle. OK. That was that. No more bottles. sniff.

2. When it was time to be diaper-free, she again made the decision. OK, Mommy, I'm ready to just wear the undies. OK. That was that. No more diapers. sniff.

3. Out of the blue, before I even thought about it, she decided all on her own that she wanted to take showers instead of baths. What? OK, That was that. No more bathtub. sniff (she did recently re-discover the joys of the tub, and will choose a bath 'just for fun' sometimes. phew!)

4. The doctor's office has always been tough but for her 4 year old appointment, she boldly announced to me that, "I will be brave Mommy, and I'm not scared." Normally, I have to surprise her by just taking her, and bribes of sprinkle donuts and skittles are always involved. Not this time. Not only was she brave as she flew through the check-up with flying colors, but she also even dared to take a peek in a pediatric dentist office on the second floor of the building. OK. That was that. No more bribery for health. sniff.

5. Last night at bedtime I offered the option for the millionth time to try sleeping in her own big-girl bed, and she quickly said, OK Mommy, I'm ready. OK. That was that. No more co-sleeping. No more family bed. big giant sniffs!

After it was lights out- see you in the morning- you're the best big girl in the world- sleep tight-I love you, she totally fell asleep. (Oh, and she announced that she will be the best big sister if new baby is a girl, and the best big brother if new baby is a boy!)

What? Hold it--you're not supposed to be ready yet, I'm not ready yet. But I didn't say that.
My entire reason for not pushing on these matters was that I wanted Sophie to be emotionally ready for the changes, not just physically. I've always gone slow and at Sophie's pace--so that she can appreciate and welcome change--not be afraid of it.
Well, that's all fine and dandy, and these examples are giving me glimpses that I am accomplishing my goals--but I forgot one little thing--ME!

I'm was a complete mess. Seriously. I wasn't ready for her to be on her own last night. I offered it, but I didn't really think she would do it. Holy Crap.
I was downstairs happily watching my favorite Grey's Anatomy, completely uninterrupted, when all of a sudden I had big boo-hoo tears running down my cheeks. Where's Sophie? Oh yeah, sound asleep in her own room like every normal 4 year old. I dreaded going to bed. I wasn't ready.
I dragged myself up anyway. I brought up our at bedtime Popsicle and popped in my comforting Gilmore Girls. I couldn't relax, couldn't sleep, and I missed Sophie ridiculously.
So around 10:30 I went back downstairs to sit with my husband who was shocked that I was still awake.
I realized then that I was experiencing the exact kind of anxiety change can bring when you don't know it's coming. I wasn't so sure I could handle it and I knew I didn't want to go back to bed anytime soon. So, I put on some eating T.V.--Triple D from the food network, and ate my way into exhaustion: pepperoni, bread & butter pickles, and jelly beans. Yep-I'm preggers all right. All of the emotions I was having were what I had been trying to spare Sophie from--at least until she's old enough to handle it.

It was then I finally got it that I am the one who is old enough to handle it. So off to bed I went.
It was so weird. The hallway bathroom light on-the bedroom doors propped open just a smidgen, and every in their own room happily dreaming away. SO WEIRD! The dog was excited though. He came up on the bed and sat right in the middle where Sophie's pillow used to be--and put his head on my pillow.

Alright, I guess I can be grown-up about all of this. I am the mom after all. OK. That IS that. No more baby. sniff.



Melissa said...

Good thing you have another baby on the way, huh? :)

She's growing up and that's a good thing!!

Emily said...

At least you'll get to relive all the baby moments with your new one! She's an adorable little girl. Thanks for visiting my blog.

Holly at Tropic of Mom said...

Aw, what a touching post! It *is* kind of surprising when kids make a leap of some kind or another just like that. You must have given her a great foundation, and that's why she's so comfortable moving from one stage to the next. :)

I love how she's going to be a big brother if the baby is a boy!

Wayne said...

sounds like she is doing great

great photo friday

Cecily R said...

First of all, I think the way you are teaching Sophie to deal with change and allowing her to be ready for it is wonderful.

Secondly, I'm never quite ready for the I'm readys either. Even if I think I am. The scary thing is, the older they get the faster they come. And the unreadier (not a word, but whaterver) I get.

PERFECT PSF my friend!!

Corey~living and loving said...

I'm sure it comes as no surprise that I parent the same way. Sugar decides. WE are still waiting for her to decide on a big one (breast feeding), and I have to admit, I'm think I'm having a harder time dealing with the fact that we will soon be done. eeeekkk...

oh and PS. if you think I'm a freak about the breastfeeding thing...I'm cool with that. I thought it was VERY weird until it was me, and my child. so no worries. YOu don't have to be okay with it. :)

have a great weekend.

Hi, my name is Julie said...

Big girl bed?! Answering the phone? If she starts sending me emails, I may faint. Good job sister - you are a brave girl! And I think Soph will have a little sister, btw. Then her Auntie Julie can explain to her how little sisters are the best thing in the world. :)

Carrie and Troy Keiser said...

sniff sniff
it's tough to grow up, huh?!

Tiaras & Tantrums said...

aww - I am so not letting my baby girl out of my bed yet!! She can happily sleep there until she 10!! hee hee

ps I have a giveaway in IL if you are interested:

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